You are my most beloved

I’m too bad at things

Especially when it comes to holding on to people I love the most.

I don’t do what I should,

And keep wondering later, what I could…

Have said, have done.

It’s too tough to say something to you’ll,

It’s tougher to do what I say I can

But then it’s the toughest to see things go. To see people go.

I’m not Ms. Dependable,

I’m not the best buddy,

I can’t hug someone and say ‘I need you’,

I can’t push someone and say ‘I hate you’.

I’m just too bad at such things, you see.

So if ever, I don’t behave the way I should,

Always remember, YOU ARE MY MOST BELOVED!

Wanting to want...

I wanted to spend the rains with you

Having steamy bhuttas, a cuppa cutting chai with bhajiyas while being totally drenched in the season.

I did feel the waters trickling

But down my neck it was.

As I slept thinking about you.

I wanted to sound lazy (as always) in the lazy autumns

Awaiting the preparations for the festivals that would soon bloom

But away it was all in a gloom.

I wanted to cuddle up with you in the winters

And snuggle up while chatting, wearing a cardigan to look different

And apply balm to your lips and ego

One, essential for the season and the other for no reason

But the hopes of it left me snuggled up with treason.

I wanted to walk down the aisle strewn with flowers in spring

When the trees would give way to the sun’s penetrating ring

But the fragrance of it ran through us

And made me feel like so much fuss.

I wanted to sweat it out in the summers with you

Sipping on the juices and making sense to not meeting you (It’s hot, you see)

But the reason I perspired was due to all the efforts;

To get you back, to please you, to tease you…

I wanted to, I will want to and would always want to want

As wanting is what keeps me wanting: to spend, to sound, to cuddle, to walk and to sweat…